|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| call me now, baby. you can't keep running home. when no one wants you, i still keep my faith in you. i still see the best in you.
call me now, baby. if you feel like screaming, i'll scream there with you. we'll climb your hill and shout until our lungs give up. let it all go now.
call me now, baby. our time is short. no words could make you mine again, but theirs can always take you away. please remember that i love you.
call me now, baby. give my life a meaning. everything that's special in me is you. without you, i'm a ghost.
call me now, baby.
| | |
| the moment i first saw her, i looked up and made a little prayer. she was so beautiful, standing in the middle of the dance floor. when we danced, i looked up again and whispered, "thank you". her body heat made me melt like a piece of jell-o. we talked throughout the night.. she was smiling the whole time, even when she called me an asshole. if this is all supposed to be just a game, then why is my heart ready to burst? she was just the kind of girl i like - a sassy and down-to-earth lady, her shy eyes hinted at her vulnerability. take my hand, let's have an adventure. oh no, a boyfriend? suddenly, i'm broken like a fallen kite.
she drove me home. suddenly, i didn't have much to say. and it was a long ride. don't know if i'll see her again, but at least i have a picture of us :) | | |
| there's a girl that's on my mind. in the quietest corners of my consciousness, she is always there. truth to be told, i try not to think about her much.. but her name is so much a part of me; it's unique and impossible to forget. if i mention a Sarah or Jessica, people ask, "Jessica who?" or "fill-in-the-name who?" but her name is something else. there is only one of her.
just a couple of years ago, i had a habit of doodling her name on paper, instead of taking notes in class. and i did all kinds of different designs: cursive and printed, jagged and loopy, or graffiti-like. it was my secret little obsession, though i don't think she knew about it. i even kept some of those paper scraps long after the semester was over, only because of their sentimental value.
i sadly parted ways with the one-whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned. but i am still her friend, even though i can't do much to show it. whether my name is still alive in her mind, i might never know for sure. in the meantime, however, my scribbling habits continue to evolve. in a bathroom somewhere in Wisconsin, for example, i engraved her name with a heart next to it. but the very next day, that same door was freshly repainted by the management and i wondered if anyone got a chance to appreciate my work of art. then, on a train station in Chicago, i scratched the same thing on a freshly painted white pole with my fingernails, all the while looking paranoically left and right to avoid being spotted. i also wrote her a message in the snow. and on fresh, drying concrete of a sidewalk... whenever i saw an opportunity, i always did it. by now, all of them have probably faded away, but at least i tried to make sure that at any point in time her name lived on a surface somewhere. that she is loved no matter where she goes.
i guess you could say that i do it out of boredom, and that is very true. but one day, if she happens to pass by a poster ad somewhere and sees her name marked across a heart, then maybe... just maybe... it might make her smile a little. for someone who is on the margin of being a stranger, it is the most i could hope for. that one moment would make it all worth it!
| | |
| there she was, sitting to the right of me.. and my eyes couldn't resist her. i felt like that same high school boy, all giddy every time i talked to her in the library. there was no place i'd rather be after school than beside her, pretending to do my homework while she studied quietly. in those moments of serenity, she always wore a calm face with a hint of a smile that brought joy in my heart every time.
seven years later, i was surprised to find out that she had liked me too..
"how could you have liked a geek like me?" i asked.
"well, you were a really nice guy. and i liked talking to you.."
"so... if i had asked you to be my girlfriend..."
"i would've probably said 'yes'. all you had to do was ask!" she said in her matter-of-fact voice.
"if i had known that," i confessed, "i would've been the happiest guy in school, like i was on top of the world!"
"oh, whatever..." she laughed.
"it's a shame that i never made a move," i said.
"well, why didn't you?"
"i don't know," i paused, "i didn't have a job or money to date you."
"so what? we could've just hung out, watched a movie, or walked in the park.. i'm not that expensive!"
"well, i also didn't drive, and i didn't have a car."
"like anyone did at the time!" she rebutted, "you could've ridden the bus, or a bicycle!"
"i guess you're right," i finally admitted, "the truth is that i was too shy. maybe if i had seen you more often, i could've gathered enough courage to do it."
"yeah, i don't know what happened. i didn't see you for a while... and then i got a boyfriend."
"you snooze, you lose," i said, "well.. not you! i was the one who snoozed!"
we both laughed and continued to talk about other things. allthewhile, i kept gazing at her eyes. her beauty still stops me in my tracks. and though people rarely get second chances, i have a feeling that it simply wouldn't be the same if we got together. maybe i don't want to complicate our friendship or taint those perfect memories that i have of her. maybe i like to appreciate her from a distance. or maybe i'm inventing more excuses not to ask her.
i think it's too late for me anyway.
| | |
| dance with me. close your eyes and move your body against mine. you will never be as beautiful as now. it will all be over soon. this is the last time i'll get to hold you. the last kiss i'll ever get.
after tonight, you won't look at me with those same loving eyes. after tonight, i won't recognize you anymore. it won't be long before you leave me for another man. and i will move on too. i'll get a haircut and replace my wardrobe. i'll get my shit together. i will even learn to dance better. but you will be gone by then.
i will never call. you will never answer. any promises will be broken. but you will shine in the spotlight again. yes, eventually, you'll be as happy or even happier than now. and you'll do me good and proper, for my heart will never reach the utmost bliss it feels right now, while you are still next to me.
i only have tonight to cherish, because tomorrow we are doomed. and if only you could stay a little longer, i would do anything. but i know that you must go. so this is goodbye, my brown-eyed girl, or whatever your name is.
| | |
|
|
